The Life and Love of Tara Maclay
by Audra Markwell
Summary: Tara relives certain memories throughout an almost Willow-less day. Rated T for some girl/girl romance, but nothing my fellow Tara/Willow fans haven't encountered before, as well as some scenes that depict family violence.


_A little girl, with big, sensitive eyes and hair the color of honey, stood in the closet and peeked through the cracked-open door, watching her parents._

_"Don't tell me how to treat my daughter, Beth," said the father threateningly. "_I _make the rules, _I _am in charge here, not you."_

_"You treat her like garbage, John," the mother said, taking a big chance. "Treat me however you want, but leave the kids alone."_

_The father's hand came down on his wife's cheek. "Watch your mouth, demon," he spat. "Don't you _ever_ tell me what to do. It's my job to keep you women in line."_

_"Like Donnie will do when he's older, right?" the mother asked scornfully, her hand at her cheek._

_"Exactly,"_

_"Screw you,"_

_The father's hand came down with more force, knocking the mother to the floor. The mother looked up, her nose bloody._

_Suddenly, the little girl began to cry. Both parents looked at the closet and saw their daughter._

_"Why, you little-" the father said. He went over to the closet, wrenched it open, seized his daughter, and pulled her out. The girl flinched as her father raised his hand for a third time._

_"No!" yelled the mother. She quickly went over, took the girl more gently, and quickly pulled her away from her father and out of the room. Once in the hall, the mother shut the bedroom door, muffling the father's loud obscenities. Quickly, they went into the little girl's sanctuary, her bedroom. _

_ The little girl began to cry. The mother knelt down in front of her and gave her a squeeze._

_"It's OK, baby," the mother said. "Here, look at this."_

_She waved a hand. The teddy bears on her bed began to dance. The little girl giggled. The mother sighed and pulled her daughter into her lap. Putting her cheek against the little girl's head, she gave her another squeeze._

_"I'll teach you that someday," she whispered. "You're going to be a powerful witch, Tara, very powerful."_

_"I will, Mommy?" Tara asked._

_Mrs. Maclay smiled. Tara snuggled on her mom's lap._

Tara walked down the hall, coming out of the memory of her mother being brutalized by her magic-hating father.

It had been awhile since she'd thought about that aspect of her life.

Her past life.

Her life before Willow Rosenberg.

Tara reached her class, just in time. It was packed. She spotted Will at the front row. Frowning, clearly looking for Tara, Willow scanned the room and then saw her girl at the back of the room when Tara waved. The witches exchanged apologetic looks. Tara mouthed "I'll see you later" and Willow smiled to show she understood.

Tara quickly sat down as the professor came in. She looked to her left and saw a slightly overweight young woman next to her. Tara immediately clammed up.

_Eighteen-year-old Tara walked down the hallway at the Dutton High School. _

_She was alone, as always._

_She passed several kids. They took no notice of the blonde Wiccan, as always._

_She was not like them. Her interests were not like theirs. They didn't even know her last name. They just referred to her as "Tara" or "that girl"._

_Tara reached the entrance of the school. One or two nerdy boys smiled at her, clearly liking what they saw. _

_Other than to give them brief friendly smiles, as was her nature, Tara took no real notice of them. She had no use for boys. _

_She'd always been like that. She'd been aware of her preference since the first day of sixth grade, when she watched, a little too curiously, the other girls change for gym. _

_Of course, she told nobody, not even her family._

_Only her mom might've had some sort of suspicion._

_If her mom were alive, she could confide in her._

_Her mom wouldn't care, wouldn't judge her, wouldn't ridicule her._

_Her dad would. So would her brother. _

_Her dad would say it was "to be expected", that of course a "demon" like her would prefer the company of her own sex. _

_Her brother would just tease her for the rest of her life._

_Tara walked home alone, clutching her books to her chest, staring down at her feet._

_All too soon, she came across the House, the place that no longer felt safe, the place where her mother mysteriously and suddenly died._

_Tara still suspected her father._

_She saw a letter sticking out of the mail slot by the front door. Pulling it out, she saw it was from U.C. Sunnydale._

_Eyes wide with hope, she ripped it open and quickly read the first line._

_She wanted to cry. She wanted to laugh._

_She'd been accepted at the college. _

_She opened the door and went inside, appearing braver than she felt._

_It was time to tell her father she was leaving._

_He was in the kitchen, presumably making dinner._

"_Um, Dad?" Tara asked hesitantly._

_He looked up at her._

"_Yes?" he asked curtly._

"_Um, I h-h-have something to tell you,"_

"_And what it that?"_

"_I-I-I'm, um, l-leaving," she stammered. "I've b-been accepted to college. U-U-U.C. Sunnydale."_

_There was a very loud silence._

"_Oh. Oh, no," Mr. Maclay said, shaking his head. "You're not going anywhere. I forbid it."_

"_B-b-b-but….."_

"_Be quiet," he went on, glaring hard at her. Tara tried to control her stammer. "You're needed here. With your mother gone, who's going to take care of the house? Who's going to take care of me and your brother?"_

"_I-I-I just th-thought-"_

"_And, now that I think of it, how are you going to control your problem?" Mr. Maclay asked viciously. "You know you can't be around people. You're lucky you're in school at all. If you go to college, you'll put everybody in danger."_

"_I w-w-won't!" Tara said. "I'm n-not evil,"_

"_Where do you think the magic comes from?" Mr. Maclay asked. "The demon inside you is fighting to get out, and it's using you to do its magic. It will come out in time, and you'll see what you really are."_

"_You're wrong, Dad," Tara said, summoning her courage. "I am not evil. And I _am_ leaving. You can't stop me."_

_Mr. Maclay started for her. Tara quickly fled the room._

Tara snapped back to the present as the bell rang, signaling the end of class.

Students stood up and began to leave. Tara began to make her way to Willow, but was slowly pushed back amid the queue of students going for the door, and soon found herself in the hallway.

Tara stepped back from the students and watched them flow past, keeping her eyes out for Willow.

The redheaded witch finally squeezed through the departing students and went over to her lover.

"Hey," she said, giving Tara a hug.

"Hey, you," Tara replied, breathing in Willow's smell, a combination of flowery perfume and the Magic Box.

"Got another class?" Willow asked, pulling away and giving her girlfriend a smile.

"Yeah," Tara said. She checked her watch. "In about ten minutes. I should go."

"OK. See you at the Magic Box later?" Will asked.

"O-of course," Tara said.

"See you there," Willow said.

She leaned over and gave Tara a kiss on the mouth. Who the frilly heck cared if people saw?

Tara returned the kiss and pulled away, smiling at Willow.

"Bye," she said.

"Bye," Willow said. "Love you."  
"Love you, too."

The girls separated, going opposite ways. Tara looked over her shoulder and watched as her love

disappeared into the crowd.

Tara licked her lips, relishing the taste of Willow on her mouth.

_Tara and Willow quickly made their way down to the laundry room of U.C. Sunnydale. Tara's hands were firmly around Willow, helping to support her weight as the redhead limped along on a sprained ankle._

_Four hideous creatures, two in fancy suits and two in loose straitjackets, were chasing them. _

_They had chased Tara from the campus and into the school._

_Unable to scream due to some unknown spell, Tara banged on every door she came to._

_Only one had opened._

_Willow had come out in front of her, and Tara had tackled her, surprised by her sudden appearance. The fall had caused Willow to sprain her ankle._

_The girls flung themselves into the laundry room, slamming the door shut. Sitting against a washing machine, Tara looked inquiringly at Willow as Willow stared at a soda machine. Her eyes were narrowed, clearly concentrating hard. Tara looked from Willow to the soda machine, in time to see the machine twitch, as though an invisible force were trying weakly to move it._

_Tara immediately understood. _

_She raising a shaking white hand and slowly, gently, slipped her fingers into Willow's equally white, equally trembling ones. Willow looked down at their entwined hands and into Tara's eyes. Understanding each other completely, they pressed their palms together._

_Tara could feel this girl's immense power course through her hand._

_As one, they looked at the soda machine. It practically flew towards the door, and settled rather violently in front of it. The creatures outside attempted to force their way into the room._

_They couldn't._

_The girls were safe._

_They looked at each other, each slightly breathless from what had just happened._

_Tara sat in her dark dorm room, staring out at the dark campus. The human/demon thingy Adam had caused a city-wide blackout._

_But Tara wasn't thinking of Adam._

_She thought of Willow, her everything, the girl she was in love with._

_She was off with Oz, the boy _shehad_ been in love with._

_But was she now?_

_Tears came to Tara's eyes as she imagined Oz and Willow somewhere private…snuggling._

_It was almost too much to bear._

_Suddenly, someone knocked softly. Tara got up and opened the door. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw Willow on the other side, holding a single, flickering candle. _

_Willow gave Tara's room a quick glance. "No candles? Well, I brought one. It's extra flamey."_

_Tara stifled a giggle. The way Willow spoke was one of the many things Tara loved about her. _

_Tara took the candle from Willow and stepped back as she came into the room, shutting the door behind her._

"_Tara, I have to tell you-" Willow began._

"_No, I understand," Tara said, a lump in her throat. She swallowed. "You need to be with the person you l-love."_

"_I am,"_

_It took Tara what seemed to be a millennium to process these words. She looked up at Willow._

"_You mean-?"_

"_I mean," Willow said with a smile. "OK?"_

_Tara let out her breath. Happiness coursed through her. She'd never felt this elated. "Oh, yes!"_

"_I feel terrible for everything I put you through, and I-I wanna make it up to you," Willow said. "Starting right now."_

"_Right now?" Tara asked happily,_

_Willow nodded. Tara blew out the candle. She felt Willow's arms wrap around her and pull her close. Tara felt lips press against her own._

_Tara sighed happily as she eagerly kissed back._

Tara left the school, heading for the Magic Box, the Scooby headquarters.

The Scoobies. Tara's only true friends.

They had proved that by refusing to let Mr. Maclay force Tara to come home.

Tara was still grateful to them for that.

She hadn't heard from her so-called "family" for two months. Tara couldn't care less.

The Scoobies were her family. If she had them, she had what she needed.

Soft fingers suddenly slipped through hers. Tara looked up and saw that Willow had stepped next to her.

"Hi, there," Will said with a grin.

"I thought you were gonna meet me at the Magic Box," Tara said, returning the smile.

"And miss out on some Tara snuggles?" Willow asked with a pout. "No way. Beside, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I let my girl walk all alone?"

Tara smiled at Willow's use of her pet name for Tara.

"Thanks," she said.

Willow smiled and slipped her arm around Tara's waist.

Inwardly, Tara sighed contentedly. She felt that her entire former life, clouded by the gloom of her father's abuse, had all been worth it, if it meant having Willow.

Whether it was with words or touches, in her own Willow-y way, Willow always made her feel special. She had looked past Tara's former life and protective shell to discover the person underneath.

For the first time, Tara was unconditionally loved, something that hadn't been so since she was seventeen.

It was all completely worth it.


End file.
